Emotional Impact

Following the Times' research in to whether teachers in the UK would want corporal punishment to be re-introduced to schools, Radio 4 seems to have been discussing spanking, caning and smacked legs fairly frequently. One thing that they mentioned, that resonated with me, is that there is a fear amongst some child psychologists that in not smacking/spanking then the way someone is "told off" or scolded has bee amplified so that the person in the wrong feels emotionall hurt and perhaps rejected, turning in on themselves and often carrying guilt or feelings that they have let themselves down and are "bad". However, in families/relationships where a calm discipline session is conducted, the person who receives the chastisement is more confident and emotionally more stable.

Interesting? I think so.

I wasn't spanked when I was younger, but carried feelings of guilt for many, many years; and I think this is something that I am still working to resolve as an adult. Thank goodness I now have ways of dealing with these feelings, and my contrition is now a positive thing, which leads me to move forward leaving the load behind me rather than becoming a crushing weight.

CP and schools

So 20% of teachers favour the reintroduction of the cane in school to curb increasingly unruly behaviour by pupils, according to a survey in the Times last week. And any suggestion that such a thing might ever occur is met with outrage by those who view any such form of punishment as always and inevitably being nothing more than violence against children.

The problem here is partly one of terminology and perspective. No sane or reasonable person would want their children to be subjected to intimidation or violence or cruelty at school or anywhere else. However, many children ARE subjected to these things already, in form of bullying by other pupils at school or violence in the home. To say that an aduly should be condoned if they are abusive or violent to a child would be nonsense; but equally, to say that a child should never be smacked no matter how badly it behaves is also nonsense.

"Reasonable chastisement", as currently permitted in the home under UK law, is not the same as violence. When done properly, it is considered, proportionate punishment given with love and with the intention of correcting bad behaviour in a child. It may or may not be effective in particular cases - but that is a separate matter. It is NOT done in haste or anger and nor is it designed to make the child feel unloved or abused..quite the reverse. It does NOT teach the child that "violence is OK as long as it is an adult doing it" - it teaches them in a way that words sometimes cannot that bad behaviour beyond a certain point is simply unacceptable.

Perhaps the debate about CP in schools would be rendered less important if more parents took their responsibilities for their children's own behaviour a lot more seriously, including being willing to administer a good smacked bottom on occasion.

Statistics and imaginings

It is generally reported in surveys of such things that around 10% of adult women have fantasies about spanking or are into it in a more active way. So that set me thinking...according to the 2001 census, the female population of London between the ages of 20 and 70 is around 2.5 million. So in the capital alone there might be 250,000 women who think about, fantasise about or practice to some extent or other the delightful art of getting their bottom spanked. Even if we adjust the figure downwards by a generous 25% to allow for sampling error, that still leaves nearly 200,000. So the next time you are on the tube..or the bus..or walking through the park..you might spend a moment wondering just which of the people you pass falls into this group as there will be a reasonable chance that one or more of them will each day!

The benefits of a sore bottom

Some of the benefits of a well smacked bottom have long been understood..the endorphin rush that is created by physical chastisement in particular. However, I have long been struck by how getting a good spanking just seems to have all manner of therapeutic effects..as a reliever of stress, a blower away of cobwebs, a cleanser of the day-to-day crap, a creator of a "clean slate" free of guilt and so on...a girl who is spanked regularly just seems to be happier and lighter in her life.

I wonder what medical science has to say about all this? And whether spanking should not be offered on the NHS rather than CBT as a cure-all for the nation's collective neuroses?:)

Correct underwear

I have always felt that a girl should wear underwear that covers her bottom properly. Partly this is for practical reasons..warmth, comfort etc...partly for reasons of modesty..and partly because when it comes to spanking and discipline, I have always found that wearing "proper knickers" somehow seems to heighten the sense of occasion and embarrassment for a girl. Not least when the moment comes for them to be lowered...

So..full cut briefs..school knickers...French knickers..Victorian style "drawers"..boy shorts..yes!! Thongs..mini briefs...strings..no!!!

ps

I am going to be sending my article on what it means to me to be "well disciplined" to a newspaper, and then a magazine, to see if they are suitable for publication. They are "solicited", but we'll see if either of them make it in to print.

What does it mean?

I’ve been trying to write about what it means to me, what it is to be a “well disciplined girl”, to be a woman who has spanking as a fetish and also uses spanking as a way of feeling good about herself and to improve my life. The things that I’ve discovered in trying to write this are that:

• I want to do this subject justice, I want to explain the normalcy of this, that it isn’t something to be giggled at, or “outed”
• It is very difficult to write about in some ways, as it is so normal for me, this just is my sexuality, I don’t know what it would be like not to have it in my life
• I am very clear that this is not about me being weak or being exploited in any way, but it is about me knowing what makes me happy and strong.
• I can sometimes lose touch with my body and spend too much time in my head, being spanked makes me whole.
• Someone told me that we have three brains (and not in the neuropsychology sense), our brain in our head, our heart and our stomach. When I connect with spanking and discipline all of my “brains” are engaged and functioning, with none of them leading.

Spanking really has been something I have had an inexplicable fascination with for as long as I can remember. I can no more explain that I know why I have it or how I discovered I had than I could tell someone that I discovered I was straight. I have friends of lots of different sexualities, and had conversations about how or when they knew, for almost all of them they have “just known”, they hadn’t necessarily known it was about sex, but they just knew. I know it was the same for me; I know that some people experiment sexually and discover they like things, and I know I have done that too, so for some people spanking becomes something they enjoy and want, but perhaps they have a different relationship to it – I don’t know.

When I am being disciplined, once my body, heart and mind are fully engaged, then I honestly find it difficult to not be a strong woman who easily achieves rather than striving to do so, I feel fully in control.

I can understand that it might sounds strange, that I am in control while bent over a man who is 6” taller than me, skirt raised, knickers lowered having my bottom smacked as though I were a young woman or even a child from the 1950’s. It is true for me though, that I find strength and power through something that is commonly known as submission.